"Compare People" Ranking

Sometimes I accept Facebook applications to avoid being re-invited every day--at least this is what I did before one could block them entirely. One application I acquired is Spark, which ranks you as people vote on you across a variety of categories. Recently I got an update via email...

#8 person with the best hair (gained 1 place)

#16 best catch (lost 8 places)

#26 kindest (lost 12 places)

#28 funniest (gained 11 places)

#29 most kiss-able (lost 16 places)

From this I can ascertain (I'm sure this is considered a scientific poll) that my hair is as pristine as ever. My humor--while remaining fairly bad--has improved dramatically. My worst loss, however, is my kiss-able factor (probably from lack of "practice"), which is starting to drag down "best catch" as a result. This frustrating turn has translated into me being less "kind" as well.

My response to this has been to rigorously upgrade my "charm" and "fitness" attributes. Thus far, my strategy has been been cooking on a regular basis, studying ballroom dance, and lifting weights. My goal will be to again overtake my childhood buddy Mike in all important categories by the change of the fiscal year next March. This will be difficult since he practices kissing on a regular basis, and funding for my smear campaign has been averted for the funding of my fine wine and cheese production (headquartered in my spacious kitchen).